Debrief: Suzhou

This time, as I left the gang in Suzhou, I didn’t feel homesick. Instead, I felt a longing feeling for the past. I thought back to some of the fun adventures we’ve taken in Boy Scouts together—from the Tetons, to Moab, to Mt. Rushmore, to the Florida Keys—some of my fondest memories growing up involve Luke and Bryan. Riding the subway back to Suzhou train station, I suddenly wished I could back to those times.

As I got to the station, I realized Bryan was right: Suzhou station was significantly easier to navigate than Shanghai. I walked to the end of the main hall and took the escalator just as Bryan had described. The escalator actually ended outside on street level, but the entrance to the station was just to the left. A large English sign just inside the doors directed people to the Ticket Office.

The ticket office however had no English and the electronic signs were different from the Shanghai ones. I must have looked lost because a young girl came up to me and said in English, “Can I help you?”

“Yes,” I smiled. “I need to pick up my tickets.”

She looked confused so I pulled out my phone. Showing her a screen shot of my confirmation number I said, “I have a reservation.”

She took my phone and studied it. “To Shanghai?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“And you have your passport?” I confirmed that I did. “Okay,” she said. “This line.” She handed me back my phone and I thanked her.

After I got my ticket, I went around the corner to clear security—which was even more relaxed than the security in Shanghai. Again, I took an escalator up to a large waiting area. Instead of lounges, there was just one big seating hall. People more or less sat close to the turnstile that would lead to their platform. My train, of course, was leaving out of the most crowded one.

Helen had been right though, I probably could have left about 30 minutes later. I killed time listening to music, which distracted me from the tormenting thoughts of wanting to go back to when we were in Boy Scouts.

When it came time to board, everyone once again shuffled through the turnstile and out to a balcony that overlooked the platform. This time, I snapped a few photos before riding the escalator down. Our train wasn’t actually in yet, but checking the characters on my ticket, I determined that I was in coach #1. Picking a random end of the platform I paced around waiting.

That was when my dehydrated and sleep deprived brain really took off. I suddenly realized that after my internship is over, I have 20 days to kill in China. The other interns will have gone home. Bryan, Johnny, Luke, and Emily will be working in another part of China. I will be done with my job and won’t have daily access to John and Vivi…I will be alone…even though I navigated a lot of Europe by myself, China is going to be significantly harder.

When the train came, I realized I had picked the wrong end of the platform. I jogged to the other end and got on. Finding my seat in 5A, I sat down and tried to calm myself from worrying about this upcoming adventure.

To do so, I journalled. I looked back over my photos from Suzhou and thought about some of the conversations we had. As I recaptured the memories, a few notable themes jumped out to me:

·       Luke’s discovery of the “perfect white” make-up is really interesting to me. This along with the other marketing that uses white models really seems to be pushing the image that the standard of beauty is...Caucasian. In America, we have certainly used photo shop and extreme diet plans to create a skewed view of attractiveness. Just as this has haunted the psyche of so many Americans, I can’t imagine the damage that would be done if the desired appearance was an entirely different race.

·       The concept of “face” that Helen explained to me I think is one of the biggest takeaways from this weekend. It makes a lot of sense that people never commit to black and white, not to be deceptive or disorganized, but to avoid making the wrong choice.

·       I think she makes an excellent point of most of the fears between America and China really do stem from political issues rather than cultural differences. The two cultures certainly are different, but I think propaganda and political competition has exaggerated the problem significantly. In the world of international travel, I think the point Helen made that “people do not have issues; governments have issues” is a very honest rule to live by.

·       Language really is a key part of traveling. In Europe, I learned a few phrases for each country I went to, but I hardly "studied" the language. Taking my lessons from Yang Renjung, Yu Cai, and Vivi has really given me a different understanding of Chinese culture. Not knowing the language was really cool because it showed me how much you can communicate with people without words. Knowing some language really does shift your frame of mind. I wouldn't say one is better or worse, but they are totally different experiences.

·       I have also come to accept that traveling with people can be fun. It is nice to have some familiar voices to talk to and some people who are going through the same experiences to process things with. At the same time, traveling alone has some advantages. Having time to think and understand what is going on around you really makes the experience meaningful and useful. I think traveling alone is one of the best ways that you can be transformed by travel. But the key is finding a blend of surrounding yourself with a support network, and taking sometime to explore by yourself.

·       China is clearly a very safe place. I have felt so much safer here than I did in many large European cities. I am sure crime does exist, but I have never felt threatened or intimidated in any situation. I think that really does say something about the country.

·       And my feelings of longing for the past are kind of relevant to China’s history. Shanghai and Suzhou both prove that it is possible to bury the past. The psyche of both cities is clearly shaped by events that happened over hundreds of year, but both cities are clearly moving forward into westernization and the future. They have torn down the constant reminders of their past, but they’ve still kept the memories and a few small tokens (such as the relocated wall) as a reminder. Longing for the past is useless because you can’t go back; wishing for it only makes you miserable.

·       At the same time, fearing the future is just as useless. While I am having some doubts about these 20 days alone in China—something my mother vehemently discouraged me against when we were booking my ticket; she really was probably right about this—there is nothing I can do about it. Fearing the future will also make you miserable. Just like navigating Chinese trains, sometimes you just have to trust your gut and go with it.

As the train clipped along, I noticed the electronic sign at the front displaying our speed. We were travelling at 287km/h, which is about 185miles/hour. Within about 20 minutes, we were back in Shanghai.

I took the subway from the train station back to my apartment. My body felt exhausted and I could tell I was fading fast. I continued turning things over and over in my head, but finally decided to give it up and resume processing the trip in the morning.

As I walked into the lobby of my building, I was greeted with a warm, “Hi Zach!” It was Sabrina.

“How was your trip?” she asked.

I smiled. It felt good be recognized. For the first time in a couple weeks, I kind of felt at home. I feel so blessed to have this opportunity to travel. I’ve seen nine countries in the past year—and set foot in a total of thirteen—and each has been truly remarkable. It is an awesome feeling to be “at home” in so many different parts of the world.

“It was really nice,” I said. “But it is good to be back in Shanghai.”